Discord: Feeling better Dr. Furter?
Frankie: Yeah... the hot tub makes my aches go away, but there are parts of me that are still pretty swollen.


Frankie: Perhaps you could help me with-
Discord: I already know where you're going with this, and no.


Frankie: *sigh* Ever since Nightshade made that 'no sex with the scientist' rule I haven't had any fun.


Ash: Hello Frankie.
Frankie: Ash! You've come for more of my absolute pleasure, eh?


Ash: No, I'm sort of busy. Where's Nightshade?
Frankie: She's downstairs in her office. *sigh* No one loves me...

 


Nightshade: Roboraptor, you're so cool.
Roboraptor: *hisss*


Ash: Hello Nightshade. I was just at my house...


Nightshade: I was in Morocco at the time doing an arms deal! People will vouch for me! I was nowhere near your house when was destroyed!


Ash: You left witnesses, Nightshade. Eric told us.
Nightshade: I have a hostage! I'll give you Magma if you promise not to kill me.


Ash: Mags? Fine. I promise I won't kill you. Where is he?

 

 

 


Ash: ...

Magma: Hi Ash! I like your dress! Have a nice vacation?


Magma: I suppose you'll be wanting to know how I ended up like this.
Ash: No. I really don't.


Magma: Well it's all your fault anyway. You had sex with that cross dresser and gave him my coat!


Ash: How am I expected to know which clothing items are yours when you show up naked in my bed?


Ash: Besides, I only had sex with him so I could get information from him.
Magma: Yes, that Nightshade is really a lot more devious than you'd think from talking to her. I suppose you would be willing to go to extreme measures to gather information about her plans.


Ash: Er, not exactly.


Magma: Then what information were you trying to get?


Ash: ...science stuff.
Magma: I suppose I can forgive you. Would you mind undoing these? It reminds me of Chinese box torture.


Magma: I'm sorry to hear about your house, by the way. You can stay with me until it's rebuilt.


Ash: Thanks, but I think I'm going to make Nightshade put us up. I'm should make her sweat a bit so she won't think about destroying my house next time I go on vacation.
Magma: You're insured, right?
Ash: Oh yeah. Fire, Flood, Acts of Nightshade, all the usual stuff.


Commentary:
Magma gets naked a lot, doesn't he? Anyway, this fic starts with a fairly common bad come-on line, and if I have to explain it, you're probably too young to be reading these stories anyway.

Chinese Box Torture: Pullips are made in China. They come in boxes. They are tied to the box with silver twisty-ties, which I used to tie Magma to the chair. All pullips dread Chinese Box Torture, though maybe not as much as 'Younger Brother Torture' or 'Pet Chew-Toy Torture'.

Insurance policies usually cite 'acts of god' to cover all strange and rare events, like say, a meteorite hits your house, or an earthquake cracks a hole open in the ground and swallows your car. 'Acts of Nightshade' are more bizarre and less predictable, but much more likely to happen.