Nightshade: We need some sort of impartial third party. Where did you say my minions were again?
Ash: In my holding cell. Where they're staying, because there's no way they're 'impartial'.
Pink: I must agree. Zey do not like me at all. Zey are british and have no sense of ze class or ze beauty.
Nightshade: Well Valentine would just pick Ash. Who else can we use?
Ash: Chris is with the minions. I can't say he likes me very much, but I don't think he likes you any more. Would he do?
Pink: Who is zis 'Chris'?
Nightshade: The stripper that was dating the redhead. Yeah, he'll do.
Ash: Ok. I'll go get him. Wait here and don't break anything.
Pink: Ze man-whore, eh? Is he strong and 'andsome?
Nightshade: He's cute enough if you like cheab bimbos.
Elsewhere:
Saturn: How dare you come back in time and ally with Nightshade!
Discord: I'm just making sure things that are supposed to happen do happen. There's no sides. I saw you in your little outfit on the surveilliance videos, by the way, and planned a little distraction at Ash's. We shouldn't be interrupted.
Saturn: Hmph! How did you follow me, anyway?
Discord: Mom found the time machine missing and I figured out what you were up to. It's kind of sad really. You can't stand having her as a rival and you can't kill her off by yourself, so you have to go back in time to stop her being born? Lame.
Saturn: I'm lame? I bet I know what the distraction at Ash's was. You're so unoriginal. The only reason I couldn't kill her off in the future is because you always protect her. But you won't stop me here. I have Ash on my side.
Discord: So? She won't let you hurt Nightshade. Or Dad. And you can't beat me by yourself, so I'm not too worried.
Saturn: I hate you. You and your stupid apple trick.
Discord: Sticks and stones, little sister.
Ash: ...and that's the necklace. So all you have to do is pick which of us is the 'fairest' that Magma left it for.
Pink: 'Ello! You are ze 'andsome judge zen?
Ravish: Ah...
Ash: That's Pink. She's with Nightshade.
Nightshade: Wait a minute! That's not fair!
Pink: Eh?
Nightshade: She took off her shirt!
Ash: So? It was just a jacket. It's warm.
Nightshade: Yeah, right. I demand a recess so that we can all change like Miss Cheater here.
Nightshade: Come on, Pink.
Pink: Adieu, 'andsome judge!
Ash: *sigh*
Ravish: ...bye?
Ash: You know if you pick me I'll be grateful, right? Robo-raptor army, death-rays, whatever.
Ravish: Ms. Ash, are you trying to bribe me?
Ash: Yes! I don't care about the stupid necklace. But it was left in my house so it's obviously not for someone who doesn't even live here, and I'll be damned if I lose to Nightshade! She'll just go on and on and on about it.
Ravish: You may have a point.
Ash: *sigh* Well I'm going to bed. I'm not going to put on some hooker outfit for you, sorry. See you in the morning.
Nearby...
Eric: *sob* I'm such a horrible person! That poor girl!
Eric: I love you Ash, but I don't know if I can do this human stuff...
Nightshade: ...and that's why I'm obviously the one. Ash is butch, Pink is my copy and therefore inferior, and you can have Canada after I take over the world.
Ravish: While those are all very good reasons, Miss Nightshade...
Ravish: ...I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that with your foot.
Nightshade: Seriously?
Ravish: Yes.
Nightshade: Fine, I'll go... But think about it. Canada.
Ravish: 'To the Fairest'. If I could, I'd just give it to Miss Valentine...
Pink: 'Allo!
Ravish: Miss... Pink, right? Have you come to try to bribe me too?
Pink: Oh no. I would never try to have ze sex with a man who is already in love.
Ravish: Well that's a relief...wait, what do you mean 'in love'?
Pink: L'amour of course! You sit and stare and do not even notice me come in. Obvously you think of someone else, yes?
Ravish: I guess. But it's hopeless, she doesn't know how I feel even if I do convince her I'm not gay.
Pink: Ah, I see. Perhaps we could help each other out, no? You give me what I want, and I can help you win this love of yours?
Ravish:...We might be able to do business.